Relationships. Betrayal. Repair.

How to Ask Someone On a Date: According to +15 Experts

man and woman seated on chairs next to each other making eye contact

You’ve crossed paths with someone who has captured your attention:

  • Every time they come near, you feel butterflies.
  • It seems you can easily identify them in a crowd.
  • Somehow, your eyes always gravitate in their direction.
  • Thoughts of them always seem to float through.
  • Keeping eye contact with them while speaking makes you nervous.

You decide to ask them on a date and want to get it right. Perhaps you’re wondering: “What is the best way to ask someone out on a date?

Keep in mind that going on a date allows both of you to get to know each other better by spending time together and sharing an activity or a meal. It’s an opportunity to focus your attention on each other.

The act of asking someone on a date signals romantic interest. Your attention and interest likely flatter them but may make them feel a bit anxious, too. Keep this in mind as you plan the date. You will want to convey that your time together will be relaxedenjoyable, and safe.

Consider your date’s interests, schedule, and taste. Thoughtfully considering them will enhance your appeal and make them feel special.

Your date’s comfort should be of utmost importance

Paradoxically, while you will want to impress your date, if you do too much, spend too much, or if the first date is too extravagant, it may make them feel uncomfortable, and your date’s comfort should be of utmost importance.

You might, instead, propose a date that seems to suit your date’s lifestylepersonality, and style.

Make it sound safe to be with you

Tending to the details and logistics of the date—the specifics of where, when, and what to expect—is yet another way to communicate they will be safe with you.

By taking great care in the planning and invitation, you are showing your love interest that it’s safe to move toward you for greater intimacy and—a second date!

Terri DiMatteo, LPC contributed to the Upjourney article How to Ask Someone On a Date (According to 15+ Experts) Click to view what the other relationship experts had to say!

Terri DiMatteo, NJ Licensed Professional Counselor
Terri DiMatteo, NJ Licensed Professional Counselor

Helping individuals and couples restore and deepen connection since 2012.