Being loved and cared for boosts health, increases confidence, and contributes to overall well-being. Intentionally nurturing your most important relationship is absolutely worthwhile. The new year is an excellent opportunity to prioritize nurturing your relationship in specific ways. You and your beloved will reap many benefits, though some approaches get better results than others.
A well-crafted relationship resolution aims to deepen intimacy, strengthen your bond and bring you and your sweetheart closer. The resolution should be specifically designed to strengthen your bond and not be broad and non-specific such as ‘let’s spend more time together’ in the new year.
TWO COUPLES CREATE A RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION
Let’s look at the strategies of two couples that intend to deepen their connection in the new year.
Couple One decided they wanted to prioritize their relationship in the new year and committed to a weekly date night.
Couple Two committed to a monthly night out, but with a twist. They agreed they would present each other with a card on the date. Inside the card, they would handwrite a short but detailed and expressive message to the other. The message had to center on three areas: what they love, appreciate, or find sexy about the other and why. To ensure the message was correctly done, they ran it through this test: if the message was something that a family member, friend, or colleague could say, it was off-limits. It had to be something only a lover or romantic partner could express.
They would present the cards to each other and open them during their date. They promised each other they wouldn’t tell a soul about their little ritual. It was their own ‘private little secret.’
Couple One stuck to their plan without fail. Some date nights went well, often leading to greater intimacy upon returning home. At other times, one felt a little pressured by the weekly expectation or was too tired. The couple occasionally brought their problems and sour moods to the date. At those times, they often felt distant and disconnected, eager to return home to retreat to separate parts of the house. As a result, date night became hit or miss. Sometimes enjoyable, sometimes resentment festered.
Couple Two had relationship challenges just like any other couple. But their devotion to the monthly date night and the little cards added a bit of romance and loving expectation as they practiced their ‘little secret.’ Every month they committed to buying (or making) a special card for the other, sat down, and devoted some time to thinking about what they loved, appreciated, or found sexy about the other—no matter what was happening in their relationship. They took delight in watching the other read and respond to the sentiments written on the little cards.
They both saved the cards they received. Then, when things grew rocky between them, they pulled out the saved cards and reread them. Sometimes the cards helped bring back those loving feelings.
WHY THE MINI-LOVE LETTER IDEA DEEPENS INTIMACY
The card/mini-love letter exchange increases vulnerability, emotional expression, and emotional engagement. If the card’s contents are sexual in nature, it can also improve sexual intimacy—which is crucial for bonding.
Each party must select a card, think about their recent exchanges with their partner and express not only what they love, appreciate, or find sexy but why they do. Adding the reason increases intensity. When communicating with their beloved, it cannot be about a worldly accomplishment or a comment on their skill or ability; it must be of an intimate, deeply personal, or sexual nature. After all, this is the function and purpose of a committed relationship or marriage: intimacy. That’s what it’s built for; intimacy needs to be the focus.
The presentation of the card to your loved one is yet another opportunity to deepen the connection. Make it very personal, well, because it is. Presenting it with eye contact and a loving verbal message in soft tones will further heighten the impact.
You will notice each other’s reactions to reading the expressed sentiment. This is yet another opportunity to connect emotionally. The card exchange, in effect, inspires the emotional exchange that strengthens the bond that glues couples together and helps assure fidelity.
The romantic relationship has two parts: one part is emotional intimacy, and the other is physical intimacy. These two parts help you and your spouse or partner form an intimate bond. This bond must be nurtured regularly lest you fall into the dreaded “living like roommates” or operating like “co-managers of the household.” Every relationship needs a sprinkle of flirty, sexy romance for sustenance.
THE SECRECY OF THE CARD-EXCHANGE RITUAL
You may have noticed that Couple Two also decided to keep their monthly date night ritual private. Engaging in this shared ‘secret’ also helps to strengthen their bond. It places a protective barrier around them and helps them create a ‘private world of two’ where everyone else is excluded. It keeps their vulnerable, intimate expressions private and protected, strengthening their bond even more.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP RESOLUTION
If you and your spouse or partner decide to create a relationship resolution, make sure it specifically and intentionally strengthens and deepens your intimate bond. It must comprise elements that are sentimental, flirty, sexy, romantic, and intimate. They can be of an emotional or sexual nature, but the combination of engaging both emotions and physical intimacy is the most potent. Every couple needs a little sprinkle of Hollywood romance in their relationship to avoid the dreaded co-existence where life becomes simply taking care of tasks and tending solely to the never-ending to-do list.
Steal the mini-card exchange idea and have fun with it! Or, have fun creating your own ‘secret’ resolution for just the two of you.