Relationships. Betrayal. Repair.

3 Powerful Benefits of Eye Gazing for Relationship Repair

couple facing one another and making eye contact

More often than not, after a conflict or time of distance, most couples create space and distance between one another until the intensity of the feeling dissipates. Then, they reconnect often without the recognition that their romantic bond took a bit of a hit. 

What helps following a disagreement or distance is ways to reestablish the bond between you. The idea is to restore the feeling that our love is safe, secure, dependable. In other words, during the conflict, the relationship was destabilized and felt a bit shaky and uncertain. Are we going to be okay? Of course, because those feelings can be frightening, it is wise to find ways to work out the issue that caused the conflict and reconnect in a way that brings peace of mind and stability. 

While there are various things couples can do to repair the romantic bond following a period of disagreement, this blog post will provide information on a method backed by science, easy, and works: eye gazing. Below you will learn how to eye gaze, why it works, and the benefits. 


Sit or stand facing one anotherSet a timer for four minutesLock eyes until the four minutes are upTry not to talk!  


Eye contact increases intimacyEye contact is a bonding behaviorThe prolonged time intensifies the intimate bonding


It serves to restore the fractured bondFeeling closer and more connectedSofter and more tender emotions may surfaceAn increase in hugging and expressing your love will follow

If you find that four minutes of extended eye contact is too intense or intimate for you, try a variation of the theme – a four-minute hug! 

Terri DiMatteo, NJ Licensed Professional Counselor
Terri DiMatteo, NJ Licensed Professional Counselor

Helping individuals and couples restore and deepen connection since 2012.